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Home Sweltering Home
happy, butterfly
First, a message to everyone in Texas that knows me:
I've moved back to Luling. I live with my sister, Trina, her boyfriend Elfie, and my 2 nephews Ozric and Aidan. Currently, it appears that I will be here for a long time. I have a boyfriend in AZ who I plan to live with later, but that's going to take a while. So for the time being, I just want to have fun, reconnect with my friends and make new ones.

For those that don't know me or have lost touch, a synopsis of what's been going on in my life:
I graduated from Luling High in '06 at age 17, at the same time my parents had finalized their divorce. From there, I went to ITT tech, which lasted roughly 2 weeks before I decided I didn't want to be an architect, or a game designer. I spent the next 3 years moving from state to state with various friends and acquaintances, trying to find a place in the world and recover from the shock and trauma of the divorce and all the shit I put up with in school and from my abusive mom.
I moved to Kansas, where I spent 5 months and did not leave the apartment except on 3 short occasions. Then I was forced to leave due to financial trouble, so I moved in with a friend (Tristan) in South Dakota. Tristan helped me overcome some of my agoraphobia and helped me get my first job at Wal-Mart. I stayed in SD for about a year, until again financial difficulty forced me to move on. I went back to Texas, where I lived with my dad for about a month or two.
I still wanted to leave, so I moved to Houston with a guy I met on a forum named Dave. I didn't know him as well as my previous 2 roommates, and we weren't a very good match what with his OCD and my being a messy, chaotic person. I tried getting a job at McDonald's, but developed panic disorder. I had my first panic attack in the drive-thru window and was never able to return to work, nor could I attempt to get another job. Dave graciously let me stay for a few more months before kicking me out. Then, instead of going back home, I chose to be homeless.
I spent a week in Chicago on a modeling gig, so I'd have some pocket money. Then I flew back to Houston and squatted for a few days. I was taken in by a couple of dudes from Mississippi, but they ended up being total asswipes, and tried to force me to have sex with them or leave. I left. Then I went to some shelters. I got put on meds for depression and anxiety, which didn't work at all. In fact they did the exact opposite of what they were supposed to; they returned me to my self-mutilating behavior. I have permanent scars on the back of my right hand, both arms and both thighs, and my left foot. The whole experience was a complete nightmare which taught me, once and for all, that: 1) our knowledge of the human brain is extremely limited; and 2) the psychiatric industry is corrupt, fueled by greed and interested only in yoking every individual into a subservient mindframe. But at least we've taken a small step up from the days of literally torturing the insane in order to drive out demons.
After that, I ran home with my tail between my legs and stayed for a good 8 months. Then my friend Kat invited me up to NY to live with her, so I went. Things didn't go so smoothly, and we aren't friends anymore. So that's that, and here I am now.
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